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What do funeral directors do?
Primarily they care and safeguard the deceased person until final
disposition, including embalming and restorative work. A growing number of
funeral directors are trained as grief counselors to help families through the
bereavement process. They also arrange and provide an orderly series of events
that finalize the funeral, the final disposition, and legal paperwork so the
family can proceed forward. They also provide the physical establishment in
which all of this can be accomplished.
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What purpose does a funeral serve?
The funeral and the ceremony that accompanies it are indeed very important.
For those who are left behind, a funeral provides a place for family and friends
to gather for support and to reminisce; an opportunity to celebrate the life and
accomplishments of a loved one; a chance to say goodbye; and the focal point
from which the healing process can begin. The funeral identifies that a person's
life has been lived, not that a death has occurred. It is also important to
notify the community that this person has died. There are people beyond the
immediate family who have the right to grieve a death. For instance, what would
have happened in the United States if there had not been a funeral for President
John F. Kennedy?
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Are the services of a funeral director necessary to bury the dead?
In most states, no. But each state does have different regulations. You
should call the local department of health to find out exactly what your state
does require.
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Do funeral directors get to take advantage of the bereaved?
The most important quality that enables the funeral director to provide
services in the community is his or her reputation for honesty and good will. In
fact, a good reputation is the key factor in being able to stay in business. If
a particular funeral director took advantage of the bereaved, it would not be
long before the community responded to those actions by going to a different
funeral director.
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Is a funeral or memorial service always held in a funeral home or place of worship?
A service can usually be held at any location that family and friends feel
would be comfortable and appropriate. Your funeral director can assist with
arranging a meaningful service.
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Can a function less formal than a funeral or memorial service be arranged?
A Gathering of Friends is a less formal event. It allows family and friends
to share their loss and share treasured memories of the deceased. A Gathering of
Friends may include light refreshments and can be held at any appropriate
location, including an accommodating funeral home, a park, a restaurant or the
home of a family member or friend.
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Is it ok to have a viewing and not a service?
Yes, if that is the wish of the family, the funeral director will arrange
designated times for calling hours, have the times published in the newspaper
and simply add to the obituary that services will be private or at the
convenience of the family. This information will make it clear to the public as
to arrangements, and fulfill the wishes of the family.
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What are the options concerning the time of a service?
While most services are held in the morning or afternoon, some families are
now choosing to have services held in the evening hours for the convenience of
family and friends. This enables more people to attend the service who otherwise
might be unable to be excused from their place of employment during the day.
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How soon after or long after a death must an individual be buried?
This may vary by state so check with your local funeral director.
Considerations include the need to secure all permits and authorizations,
notification of family and friends, preparation of cemetery site and religious
considerations. For example, Orthodox Judaism requires that the body be interred
within 24 hours of death. Some states have limitations on the maximum length of
time allowed to pass prior to final disposition. Consult your local funeral
provider for any applicable regulations.
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How much does a funeral cost?
A funeral, like any other service, can have a range of prices depending on
the provider. It is similar to asking "How much does a wedding cost?"
Funeral costs are divided into two categories: services, as provided by the
funeral director and funeral home staff; and merchandise, such as caskets,
vaults, urns, etc. The average regular adult funeral in the U.S. in 1996 cost
$4,287, according to the Federated Funeral Directors of America. This price
generally includes funeral home staff services, professional care, use of the
funeral home and equipment, automotive equipment, visitors register,
acknowledgement cards, and casket. However, the price will vary greatly
depending on your location, the company that is serving you and the type of
funeral you choose. It is a Federal Trade Commission regulation that all
funeral-related charges be itemized, printed on a general price list and made
available to the public by phone, mail or in person. Therefore it is easy to
comparison shop and prearrange your own funeral, taking advantage of competitive
pricing by providers. To find out how much the funeral you want costs, you can
simply contact your local funeral service provider.
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Does a price I receive from the funeral home include everything?
The Funeral Director is responsible for explaining all the charges that
specifically pertain to the funeral home's services offered and merchandise sold
stated on its general price list. Any additional charges may fall under the
category of cash advances. These additional charges might be for opening and
closing the grave, clergy honorarium, newspaper notices, flowers, organist,
church sexton.
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Why are funerals so expensive?
There is a great range in prices for services and merchandise from your local
funeral directors, depending on the type of funeral you purchase and each
company's price structure. The perception that funerals are too expensive
usually can be attributed to a lack of familiarity with the normal price range.
If you find that the price for certain services and merchandise seems to high,
you should check into different types of funerals and different companies until
you find the price that fits your budget. Obviously, it is difficult to
comparison shop in an at-death situation. Therefore, it is important speak with
your local funeral director ahead of time. By preplanning, you can find a
provider whose services and merchandise fit your budget.
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What if I do not wish to use all the services a funeral home has to offer?
The Federal Trade Commission Funeral Rule requires that all funeral homes
itemize their charges for professional services, facilities and motor equipment
and that they provide a General Price List to all clients. You have the right to
select and pay for only those services you choose to utilize.
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How can I best shop and compare funeral service providers?
Talking with friends who have used the services of a funeral home or your
personal experience from attending funeral services of friends or relatives at a
variety of funeral homes are excellent methods of comparison. You might also
consider just stopping by a funeral home unannounced to experience how you are
treated. To a lesser degree, you can also gain some experience from randomly
contacting various firms by telephone. You can call your local Better Business
Bureau to see if complaints have been filed against a local funeral director,
and whether they were satisfactorily resolved. Also, you can call one of the
national funeral trade associations, which have standards of ethics, to see
whether your local funeral homes are members.
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May I make all the necessary arrangements in advance?
Yes, usually all arrangements may be made in advance. When you plan ahead,
you will be able to consider the many options available. You will have the
opportunity to make an informed decision about your funeral and cemetery
arrangements, and the form of memorial you prefer. You will be able to make
choices that are meaningful to both you and your family, and you will gain peace
of mind knowing your family and friends will be relieved of the emotional and
financial burden often associated with making arrangements when a death occurs.
By pre-arranging your funeral and cemetery services, you benefit by purchasing
at today's prices, free from inflationary pressures in the future. Be sure to
check whether the contract of your local provider guarantees prices. Your local
prearrangement provider can help you pre-plan.
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Will life insurance pay for funerals?
Yes, as a convenient method of payment, most quality funeral homes will allow
for an insurance assignment. This assignment transaction is processed by the
funeral home, releasing only the funeral expenses to the funeral service
provider, and with any remaining balance going directly to the beneficiary. The
insurance assignment is an effective, convenient means in which to cover funeral
expenses. Keep in mind that it's very important to speak with your local funeral
provider, to ensure that your insurance policy is applied to the type of funeral
service you want. Simply having life insurance will not make the important
decisions that must be made in regard to your funeral -- which funeral home will
take care of the service, what type of service will be held, how much will be
spent on the funeral service, etc.
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How can I get an idea about the costs of caskets?
All funeral homes are required by the Federal Trade Commission to have casket
price lists available to the public at all times. Your funeral home will gladly
discuss prices on the phone, send you a copy of the price list or arrange an
appointment to see available caskets.
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What are the different types of burial caskets?
Most caskets are made of either wood or metal. Metal caskets are made of
either bronze, copper, steel or stainless steel. Wood caskets are available in a
variety of types of wood. Interiors of caskets are usually made with velvet or
crepe; however, other materials may be available. Consult your local provider
for options in your area.
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Why are some casket prices more than others?
It depends upon the materials with which the casket is made. Obviously, a
casket made of bronze would be priced higher than one made of steel. A casket
made of solid mahogany would be more costly to manufacture than one of soft pine
wood. A casket with a crepe interior materials would be priced less than an
interior of velvet because of the cost of the material. It depends upon what
materials the casket shell is made of, the interior materials and any protective
features included in that particular model.
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What about these independent discount casket companies? Can't I buy my casket
there and use it when needed?Yes , It is certainly a financially sound decision
to purchase anything at today's prices which can then be used as a later time;
however, you need to consider several things. Who will store the casket, you or
the company you purchased it from? If you buy it without delivery, you need to
know how your purchase will be protected. Also, you may want to know if the
product has any warranties or guarantees attached to it. When and if you select
to purchase a casket (or vault) from a third-party vendor, be certain that the
seller will guarantee the specific product you purchase be available at the
ultimate time of need and will include delivery to wherever it is needed.
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Can I build my own casket?
As a matter of fact, you can, although as a matter or practicality, it may
present some storage challenges for you. You might consult a funeral home for
correct measurements as the casket will ultimately need to be placed into a
burial vault, graveliner or mausoleum crypt.
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What are burial vaults and graveliners?
These are the outside containers into which the casket is placed. Burial
vaults are designed to protect the casket, and may be made of a variety or
combination of materials including concrete, stainless steel, galvanized steel,
copper, bronze, plastic or fiberglass. A graveliner is a lightweight version of
a vault which simply keeps the grave surface from sinking in.
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Must Ipurchase a burial vault?In most areas of the country, state or local
law does not require that you buy a container to surround the casket in the
grave. However, many cemeteries require that you have such a container so that
the ground will not sink. Either a graveliner or a burial vault will satisfy
these requirements.
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Will the funeral home help with Social Security and Veterans death benefits?
Quality service firms will not only assist with securing these death
benefits, they will most likely complete all the paperwork for you.
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Must an obituary be published in a newspaper?
The publication of an obituary notice is a matter of your personal choice.
While most newspapers control the editorial format, you have the right to limit
the amount of information, if any, provided to them.
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Should a child attend a funeral?
Children grieve just as adults do. Any child old enough to form a
relationship will experience some form of grief when a relationship is severed.
As adults we may not view a child's behavior as grief as it often is
demonstrated in ways which we misunderstand as "moody",
"cranky", "withdrawn" or other behavioral patterns which do
not appear to us to be grief. When a death occurs children need to be surrounded
by feelings of warmth, acceptance and understanding. This may be a tall order to
expect of the adults who are experiencing their own grief and upset. Caring
adults can guide children through this time when the child is experiencing
feelings for which they have no words and thus can not identify. In a very real
way, this time can be a growth experience for the child, teaching about love and
relationships. The first task is to create an atmosphere in which the child's
thoughts, fears and wishes are recognized. This means that they should be
allowed to participate in any of the arrangements, ceremonies and gatherings
which are comfortable for them. First, explain what will be happening and why it
is happening at a level the child can understand. A child may not be able to
speak at a grandparent's funeral but would benefit greatly from the opportunity
to draw a picture to be placed in the casket or displayed at the service. Be
aware that children will probably have short attention spans and may need to
leave a service or gathering before the adults are ready. Many families provide
a non-family attendant to care for the children in this event. The key is to
allow the participation, not to force it. Forced participation can be harmful.
Children instinctively have a good sense of how involved they wish to be. They
should be listened to carefully.
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Must a casket be transported to the cemetery in a hearse?
While a hearse or casket coach is most commonly used for this purpose, other
options are often appropriate. Families might consider more personalized and
meaningful options; for example, a fire fighter may be transported on a fire
truck.
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Why would I need to purchase Certified Copies of a death certificate?
Certified copies are used as proof of death for the transfer of stocks and
bonds, banking transactions and life insurance. You funeral provider can help
you determine how many you may need to settle an estate and also secure them for
you.
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How can I personalize a funeral service?
One way is to bring personal items into the funeral home to be displayed in
or near the casket. Example: An avid golfer might have a favorite putter placed
in the casket. An avid hunter or fisherman might have some of their personal
effects or trophies displayed on a memory table. A person who quilted could have
the casket draped with a quilt they made. An artist could have their art work
displayed. A person s favorite rocking chair could be brought to the funeral
home and placed next to the casket.
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What is a memory table and/or a memory board?
At the funeral home, a memory table may be used to display personal items of
the deceased. A memory board would have a collection of family photographs
attached and can be displayed on an easel at the funeral home for visitors to
reminisce about their life experiences with the deceased.
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Do clergy always officiate at a funeral service?
In conjunction with or sometimes in place of a clergy person, family or
friends may share personal thoughts, memories and feelings about the deceased as
part of the service.
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If I donate my remains to medical science, can there still be a service?
In addition to coordinating the donation, your funeral service provider can
arrange for either a Memorial Service or a Gathering of Friends to be held at a
time and place convenient for the family.
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How many pallbearers will be needed?
The traditional format regarding the number of pallbearers is 6, primarily
due to the length of the standard casket, so that 3 people on either side can
conveniently carry the casket. Most caskets have additional handles at each end
which will accommodate 2 more bearers.
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What happens if someone close to me dies away from home?
After the death has occurred, the most prudent decision would be to call your
funeral service provider in your home town. Your funeral director will be able
to make the necessary arrangements to transfer the deceased, relieving the
family of the burden of dealing with unfamiliar people, places and related
issues.
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Does VA pay for veterans' funerals?
Although the Veterans Administration does not pay for complete funerals, it
does provide certain merchandise, services and reimbursements. Your local VA
office or funeral home can provide you with the variety of benefits available.
In general, any veteran with a discharge other than dishonorable is entitled to
be buried in an accepting national cemetery. He or she may also receive a free
grave liner, bronze marker and a flag holder appropriately marked with the
veteran's rank, war served and religious icon. Other specific circumstances,
better explained by your VA benefits counselor, may avail additional
burial-related benefits.
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How long can you wait to have a funeral without embalming?
Most states require that a deceased person either be embalmed or placed in
refrigeration after a period of 24 hours from the time of death. Funeral
services can be held at any time after that. In some areas of the country that
time frame could be as long as three weeks.
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After my death, how can my funeral home send me to my cemetery which is out of state?
In many cemeteries today, there is a funeral home on the grounds. If not,
then arrangements would have to be made with the cemetery or a local funeral
home to pick up the body and transfer it to the cemetery.
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Is it possible to have a traditional funeral if someone with AIDS dies?
Yes. Death because of AIDS is no different than any other cause of death.
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What recourse does a consumer have for poor service or overcharging?
The complaint should first be given to the funeral director that served the
family. If the situation is not resolved to your satisfaction, then a complaint
should be filed with your state's board of funeral service, or with the consumer
complaint department of the state attorney general's office. In most instances,
the complaint will be resolved by the local funeral director.
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