What
do funeral directors do?
Primarily they care and
safeguard the deceased
person until final
disposition, including
embalming and restorative
work. A growing number of
funeral directors are
trained as grief counselors
to help families through the
bereavement process. They
also arrange and provide an
orderly series of events
that finalize the funeral,
the final disposition, and
legal paperwork so the
family can proceed forward.
They also provide the
physical establishment in
which all of this can be
accomplished.
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What
purpose does a funeral
serve?
The funeral and the
ceremony that accompanies it
are indeed very important.
For those who are left
behind, a funeral provides a
place for family and friends
to gather for support and to
reminisce; an opportunity to
celebrate the life and
accomplishments of a loved
one; a chance to say
goodbye; and the focal point
from which the healing
process can begin. The
funeral identifies that a
person's life has been
lived, not that a death has
occurred. It is also
important to notify the
community that this person
has died. There are people
beyond the immediate family
who have the right to grieve
a death. For instance, what
would have happened in the
United States if there had
not been a funeral for
President John F. Kennedy?
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Are
the services of a funeral
director necessary to bury the
dead?
In most states, no. But
each state does have
different regulations. You
should call the local
department of health to find
out exactly what your state
does require.
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Do
funeral directors get to
take advantage of the bereaved?
The most important
quality that enables the
funeral director to provide
services in the community is
his or her reputation for
honesty and good will. In
fact, a good reputation is
the key factor in being able
to stay in business. If a
particular funeral director
took advantage of the
bereaved, it would not be
long before the community
responded to those actions
by going to a different
funeral director.
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Is
a funeral or memorial
service always held in a funeral
home or place of worship?
A service can usually be
held at any location that
family and friends feel
would be comfortable and
appropriate. Your funeral
director can assist with
arranging a meaningful
service.
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Can
a function less formal than
a funeral or memorial service be
arranged?
A Gathering of Friends is
a less formal event. It
allows family and friends to
share their loss and share
treasured memories of the
deceased. A Gathering of
Friends may include light
refreshments and can be held
at any appropriate location,
including an accommodating
funeral home, a park, a
restaurant or the home of a
family member or friend.
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Is
it ok to have a viewing and
not a service?
Yes, if that is the wish
of the family, the funeral
director will arrange
designated times for calling
hours, have the times
published in the newspaper
and simply add to the
obituary that services will
be private or at the
convenience of the family.
This information will make
it clear to the public as to
arrangements, and fulfill
the wishes of the family.
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What
are the options concerning
the time of a service?
While most services are
held in the morning or
afternoon, some families are
now choosing to have
services held in the evening
hours for the convenience of
family and friends. This
enables more people to
attend the service who
otherwise might be unable to
be excused from their place
of employment during the
day.
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How
soon after or long after a
death must an individual be
buried?
This may vary by state so
check with your local
funeral director.
Considerations include the
need to secure all permits
and authorizations,
notification of family and
friends, preparation of
cemetery site and religious
considerations. For example,
Orthodox Judaism requires
that the body be interred
within 24 hours of death.
Some states have limitations
on the maximum length of
time allowed to pass prior
to final disposition.
Consult your local funeral
provider for any applicable
regulations.
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How
much does a funeral cost?
A funeral, like any other
service, can have a range of
prices depending on the
provider. It is similar to
asking "How much does a
wedding cost?" Funeral
costs are divided into two
categories: services, as
provided by the funeral
director and funeral home
staff; and merchandise, such
as caskets, vaults, urns,
etc. The average regular
adult funeral in the U.S. in
1996 cost $4,287, according
to the Federated Funeral
Directors of America. This
price generally includes
funeral home staff services,
professional care, use of
the funeral home and
equipment, automotive
equipment, visitors
register, acknowledgement
cards, and casket. However,
the price will vary greatly
depending on your location,
the company that is serving
you and the type of funeral
you choose. It is a Federal
Trade Commission regulation
that all funeral-related
charges be itemized, printed
on a general price list and
made available to the public
by phone, mail or in person.
Therefore it is easy to
comparison shop and
prearrange your own funeral,
taking advantage of
competitive pricing by
providers. To find out how
much the funeral you want
costs, you can simply
contact your local funeral
service provider.
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Does
a price I receive from the
funeral home include everything?
The Funeral Director is
responsible for explaining
all the charges that
specifically pertain to the
funeral home's services
offered and merchandise sold
stated on its general price
list. Any additional charges
may fall under the category
of cash advances. These
additional charges might be
for opening and closing the
grave, clergy honorarium,
newspaper notices, flowers,
organist, church sexton.
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Why
are funerals so
expensive?
There is a great range in
prices for services and
merchandise from your local
funeral directors, depending
on the type of funeral you
purchase and each company's
price structure. The
perception that funerals are
too expensive usually can be
attributed to a lack of
familiarity with the normal
price range. If you find
that the price for certain
services and merchandise
seems to high, you should
check into different types
of funerals and different
companies until you find the
price that fits your budget.
Obviously, it is difficult
to comparison shop in an
at-death situation.
Therefore, it is important
speak with your local
funeral director ahead of
time. By preplanning, you
can find a provider whose
services and merchandise fit
your budget.
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What
if I do not wish to use all
the services a funeral home has
to offer?
The Federal Trade
Commission Funeral Rule
requires that all funeral
homes itemize their charges
for professional services,
facilities and motor
equipment and that they
provide a General Price List
to all clients. You have the
right to select and pay for
only those services you
choose to utilize.
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How
can I best shop and compare
funeral service providers?
Talking with friends who
have used the services of a
funeral home or your
personal experience from
attending funeral services
of friends or relatives at a
variety of funeral homes are
excellent methods of
comparison. You might also
consider just stopping by a
funeral home unannounced to
experience how you are
treated. To a lesser degree,
you can also gain some
experience from randomly
contacting various firms by
telephone. You can call your
local Better Business Bureau
to see if complaints have
been filed against a local
funeral director, and
whether they were
satisfactorily resolved.
Also, you can call one of
the national funeral trade
associations, which have
standards of ethics, to see
whether your local funeral
homes are members.
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May
I make all the necessary
arrangements in advance?
Yes, usually all
arrangements may be made in
advance. When you plan
ahead, you will be able to
consider the many options
available. You will have the
opportunity to make an
informed decision about your
funeral and cemetery
arrangements, and the form
of memorial you prefer. You
will be able to make choices
that are meaningful to both
you and your family, and you
will gain peace of mind
knowing your family and
friends will be relieved of
the emotional and financial
burden often associated with
making arrangements when a
death occurs. By
pre-arranging your funeral
and cemetery services, you
benefit by purchasing at
today's prices, free from
inflationary pressures in
the future. Be sure to check
whether the contract of your
local provider guarantees
prices. Your local
prearrangement provider can
help you pre-plan.
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Will
life insurance pay for
funerals?
Yes, as a convenient
method of payment, most
quality funeral homes will
allow for an insurance
assignment. This assignment
transaction is processed by
the funeral home, releasing
only the funeral expenses to
the funeral service
provider, and with any
remaining balance going
directly to the beneficiary.
The insurance assignment is
an effective, convenient
means in which to cover
funeral expenses. Keep in
mind that it's very
important to speak with your
local funeral provider, to
ensure that your insurance
policy is applied to the
type of funeral service you
want. Simply having life
insurance will not make the
important decisions that
must be made in regard to
your funeral -- which
funeral home will take care
of the service, what type of
service will be held, how
much will be spent on the
funeral service, etc.
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How
can I get an idea about the
costs of caskets?
All funeral homes are
required by the Federal
Trade Commission to have
casket price lists available
to the public at all times.
Your funeral home will
gladly discuss prices on the
phone, send you a copy of
the price list or arrange an
appointment to see available
caskets.
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What
are the different types of
burial caskets?
Most caskets are made of
either wood or metal. Metal
caskets are made of either
bronze, copper, steel or
stainless steel. Wood
caskets are available in a
variety of types of wood.
Interiors of caskets are
usually made with velvet or
crepe; however, other
materials may be available.
Consult your local provider
for options in your area.
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Why
are some casket prices more
than others?
It depends upon the
materials with which the
casket is made. Obviously, a
casket made of bronze would
be priced higher than one
made of steel. A casket made
of solid mahogany would be
more costly to manufacture
than one of soft pine wood.
A casket with a crepe
interior materials would be
priced less than an interior
of velvet because of the
cost of the material. It
depends upon what materials
the casket shell is made of,
the interior materials and
any protective features
included in that particular
model.
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What
about these independent
discount casket companies? Can't
I buy my
casket
there and use it when needed?
Yes , It is certainly a
financially sound decision
to purchase anything at
today's prices which can
then be used as a later
time; however, you need to
consider several things. Who
will store the casket, you
or the company you purchased
it from? If you buy it
without delivery, you need
to know how your purchase
will be protected. Also, you
may want to know if the
product has any warranties
or guarantees attached to
it. When and if you select
to purchase a casket (or
vault) from a third-party
vendor, be certain that the
seller will guarantee the
specific product you
purchase be available at the
ultimate time of need and
will include delivery to
wherever it is needed.
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Can
I build my own casket?
As a matter of fact, you
can, although as a matter or
practicality, it may present
some storage challenges for
you. You might consult a
funeral home for correct
measurements as the casket
will ultimately need to be
placed into a burial vault,
graveliner or mausoleum
crypt.
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What
are burial vaults and
graveliners?
These are the outside
containers into which the
casket is placed. Burial
vaults are designed to
protect the casket, and may
be made of a variety or
combination of materials
including concrete,
stainless steel, galvanized
steel, copper, bronze,
plastic or fiberglass. A
graveliner is a lightweight
version of a vault which
simply keeps the grave
surface from sinking in.
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Must
I
purchase a burial vault?
In most areas of the
country, state or local law
does not require that you
buy a container to surround
the casket in the grave.
However, many cemeteries
require that you have such a
container so that the ground
will not sink. Either a
graveliner or a burial vault
will satisfy these
requirements.
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Will
the funeral home help with
Social Security and Veterans
death benefits?
Quality service firms
will not only assist with
securing these death
benefits, they will most
likely complete all the
paperwork for you.
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Must
an obituary be published in
a newspaper?
The publication of an
obituary notice is a matter
of your personal choice.
While most newspapers
control the editorial
format, you have the right
to limit the amount of
information, if any,
provided to them.
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Should
a child attend a funeral?
Children grieve just as
adults do. Any child old
enough to form a
relationship will experience
some form of grief when a
relationship is severed. As
adults we may not view a
childs behavior as grief as
it often is demonstrated in
ways which we misunderstand
as "moody",
"cranky",
"withdrawn" or
other behavioral patterns
which do not appear to us to
be grief. When a death
occurs children need to be
surrounded by feelings of
warmth, acceptance and
understanding. This may be a
tall order to expect of the
adults who are experiencing
their own grief and upset.
Caring adults can guide
children through this time
when the child is
experiencing feelings for
which they have no words and
thus can not identify. In a
very real way, this time can
be a growth experience for
the child, teaching about
love and relationships. The
first task is to create an
atmosphere in which the
child's thoughts, fears and
wishes are recognized. This
means that they should be
allowed to participate in
any of the arrangements,
ceremonies and gatherings
which are comfortable for
them. First, explain what
will be happening and why it
is happening at a level the
child can understand. A
child may not be able to
speak at a grandparent's
funeral but would benefit
greatly from the opportunity
to draw a picture to be
placed in the casket or
displayed at the service. Be
aware that children will
probably have short
attention spans and may need
to leave a service or
gathering before the adults
are ready. Many families
provide a non-family
attendant to care for the
children in this event. The
key is to allow the
participation, not to force
it. Forced participation can
be harmful. Children
instinctively have a good
sense of how involved they
wish to be. They should be
listened to carefully.
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Must
a casket be transported to
the cemetery in a hearse?
While a hearse or casket
coach is most commonly used
for this purpose, other
options are often
appropriate. Families might
consider more personalized
and meaningful options; for
example, a fire fighter may
be transported on a fire
truck.
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Why
would I need to purchase
Certified Copies of a death
certificate?
Certified copies are used
as proof of death for the
transfer of stocks and
bonds, banking transactions
and life insurance. You
funeral provider can help
you determine how many you
may need to settle an estate
and also secure them for
you.
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How
can I personalize a funeral
service?
One way is to bring
personal items into the
funeral home to be displayed
in or near the casket.
Example: An avid golfer
might have a favorite putter
placed in the casket. An
avid hunter or fisherman
might have some of their
personal effects or trophies
displayed on a memory table.
A person who quilted could
have the casket draped with
a quilt they made. An artist
could have their art work
displayed. A person s
favorite rocking chair could
be brought to the funeral
home and placed next to the
casket.
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What
is a memory table and/or a
memory board?
At the funeral home, a
memory table may be used to
display personal items of
the deceased. A memory board
would have a collection of
family photographs attached
and can be displayed on an
easel at the funeral home
for visitors to reminisce
about their life experiences
with the deceased.
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Do
clergy always officiate at a
funeral service?
In conjunction with or
sometimes in place of a
clergy person, family or
friends may share personal
thoughts, memories and
feelings about the deceased
as part of the service.
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If
I donate my remains to
medical science, can there still
be a service?
In addition to
coordinating the donation,
your funeral service
provider can arrange for
either a Memorial Service or
a Gathering of Friends to be
held at a time and place
convenient for the family.
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How
many pallbearers will be
needed?
The traditional format
regarding the number of
pallbearers is 6, primarily
due to the length of the
standard casket, so that 3
people on either side can
conveniently carry the
casket. Most caskets have
additional handles at each
end which will accommodate 2
more bearers.
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What
happens if someone close to
me dies away from home?
After the death has
occurred, the most prudent
decision would be to call
your funeral service
provider in your home town.
Your funeral director will
be able to make the
necessary arrangements to
transfer the deceased,
relieving the family of the
burden of dealing with
unfamiliar people, places
and related issues.
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Does
VA pay for veterans'
funerals?
Although the Veterans
Administration does not pay
for complete funerals, it
does provide certain
merchandise, services and
reimbursements. Your local
VA office or funeral home
can provide you with the
variety of benefits
available. In general, any
veteran with a discharge
other than dishonorable is
entitled to be buried in an
accepting national cemetery.
He or she may also receive a
free grave liner, bronze
marker and a flag holder
appropriately marked with
the veteran's rank, war
served and religious icon.
Other specific
circumstances, better
explained by your VA
benefits counselor, may
avail additional
burial-related benefits.
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How
long can you wait to have a
funeral without embalming?
Most states require that
a deceased person either be
embalmed or placed in
refrigeration after a period
of 24 hours from the time of
death. Funeral services can
be held at any time after
that. In some areas of the
country that time frame
could be as long as three
weeks.
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After
my death, how can my funeral
home send me to my cemetery
which is out of state?
In many cemeteries today,
there is a funeral home on
the grounds. If not, then
arrangements would have to
be made with the cemetery or
a local funeral home to pick
up the body and transfer it
to the cemetery.
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Is
it possible to have a
traditional funeral if someone
with AIDS dies?
Yes. Death because of
AIDS is no different than
any other cause of death.
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What
recourse does a consumer
have for poor service or
overcharging?
The complaint should
first be given to the
funeral director that served
the family. If the situation
is not resolved to your
satisfaction, then a
complaint should be filed
with your state's board of
funeral service, or with the
consumer complaint
department of the state
attorney general's office.
In most instances, the
complaint will be resolved
by the local funeral
director.